SanchoyoScribbles

01/07/26

In December my friend sent me a tea advent calendar! Everyday for 24 days I wrote a lil tumblr review of each tea. I wanted to compile them all and also my rankings + pictures of each :) Below is each text post, unedited, from each day!

I also drew two art pieces and watercolored them with the tea bags at the end; that's also included, along with the process video!

my epic & swagful friend @spectralreplica got me a cute tea advent calendar so for the next 24 days I’m gonna be Blogging About Teas ™️ I drink in the morning (and I will compile my lil reviews on my neocities blog at the end because its been Way Too Long since I’ve posted on there. its a graveyard rn…)

as a disclaimer I am Obviously Not a Tea expert. I like when it tastes Good but as far as picking out separate Notes and knowing the fancy terminology goes, that is Not A Skill I Have. also all of these are herbal teas which I am already biased for, so if this ends up going like ‘I love all of these’ don’t be surprised 😔

tea 1: Belgian mint

I was wondering what sets it apart from normal mint, but I realized it before I even tasted it bc the smell was very rich!! the 'Belgian’ is actually A Chocolate Taste. It tastes and smells pretty much exactly like a peppermint patty or peppermint hot cocoa. The mint wasn’t too strong, like it was an even balance between mint/chocolate!! Tastes like if December-Febuary months were a flavor, very seasonal and cozy 'christmas’ type flavor to me! I’ve never actually had a tea with cocoa flavor before this but it’s really nice!! If I buy this one on it’s own again it’d have to be for this season because I feel like having it when it’s hot outside would be weird. But has a very rich flavor, and a great one for a holiday advent set to start with, feels so on theme 🍬

Also they have little leaves on the teabag string AWWWW

continuing the Tea Blogging…

tea 2: mango citron

ok, confession, I’m not crazy about mangos. The texture is weird!! But I like the flavor, esp when it’s mixed with something else like in a smoothie it’s excellent. What’s wild is it… didn’t taste like mango imo?? The citron taste (a very lemony taste with a lil sweet orange aftertaste) was pretty strong. More than a tea it sort of tasted like hibiscus lemonade if that makes sense? If yesterdays tea was a winter flavor this one is solidly a middle of summer over ice type flavor. I let it drop to room temp before finishing it and it was refreshing :3

But like, if you’re going for a flavor named mango it could’ve been more mango (I like hibiscus more than mango so this is the opposite of a problem for me, I like a really floral tea, but… I’d feel bad for anyone looking for a strong mango flavor. It was an aftertaste of mango at best) but if you like a sweet floral and citrus flavor it’s excellent! It had a very natural and sweet aftertaste that I really liked

Also, it was a pretty dark red color:

Tea #3: African solstice

there’s a list of notes on the bottom each teabag box for these and I got rly excited when I saw rooibos because it’s one of those teas you hear a lot of good things abt if u talk to ppl who Drink Fun Tea Varieties so I was ready to try it and see what flavors it has!! It also says with berry flavors, and I love a berry, so.

this one is unbelievably good. I mentioned in the tags of my first tea post that I don’t sweeten my tea bc I like to taste the actual tea, right?? It tastes so sweet and rich on its own. The smell right before I even sipped it was just ‘warm vanilla’ type of smell. It’s how I wanted coffee to taste as a kid. I’ve never had anything that tasted like it and it’s really hard to describe. It tastes warm and nostalgic if that makes sense 😭

No idea what berries are mixed with it (raspberry would be my first guess based on the smell?? Maybe a tart cherry/cranberry even because if u rly Sniff it’s a lil tart) but whatever berry it is, that taste is really subtle compared to the rooibos (not so subtle I couldn’t taste it slightly but it’s not an obnoxious In Your Face berry)

I got really sad halfway into the cup because I didn’t want it to end and started to drink reallllly slow to try and savor it lmao (also this is when I remembered to take a picture, I was enjoying it so much I forgot 😵‍💫) it’s a pretty amber color, more orange than it looks in the picture! I really can’t overstate how good it smells and tastes. Like I’d rebuy this or get a candle scented like this in a heartbeat lol

Absolutely my fav so far, but we’re only 3 days into the tea trying so that might change!!

Tea #4: apricot amaretto

So I’m pretty sure I’ve never had an apricot? And I’m 100% sure I’ve never had amaretto. But this one is also a rooibos blend like yesterday so I got happy at the idea of reuniting with Her (rooibos tea)

And when I asked my mom she said apricots taste a little bit like peaches and I love peach anything.

I do not think apricot flavor tastes like peach flavor after trying it 😔 the apricot smell overpowers the other smells before u even taste a sip and it is kinda fruity but distinctly not peach-like. And I hate to compare them so directly but this one has nothing on the tea from yesterday. It’s not bad, but in my mind I got so hyped for a peach-like rooibos and it is just Not That. I think I would not like real amaretto if it’s similar to this. Not to say the tea is bad but when u hype smth up in ur mind and it doesn’t taste how u expect it’s weird?

The taste is kind of sweet but not quite as sweet as previous teas and has a sliiightly floral aftertaste which is throwing me off a lil ngl. It’s not tart or anything, just tastes a little.. flat?? Like it has less going on than the other teas so far. Which isn’t a bad thing, I feel like this one could be good if u just want a minimal and chill tea (actually green tea is my fav and it’s kind of the same vibe but this one is a bit nuttier lol) to me this tea tastes like… idk, a sugar free dried fruit and nut cookie. I know that’s super specific but that’s the Vibe.

A few summers ago I made a dandelion tea that tasted surprisingly similar to this 🤨 it is a pretty color (orangey yellow) but this is the first one that I’m like, prolly wouldn’t buy myself. That being said I am gonna finish the cup because it’s not bad!!! Just not my preference for flavors. Still pretty cozy, it’s flavors are giving summer afternoon/evening to me

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Tea #5: radiance

‘radiance’ is such a go girl give us nothing name so I immediately flipped the lil teabag box over to see the notes and. its berries, citrus, and rosemary. THE THING IS. I am fine with rosemary if its only a little bit. but I prefer it on savory stuff (like in a meat or veggie seasoning mix……sparingly) because it tastes kind of like pine to me and pine is one of my Forever Enemies (my mom loves pine candles and the smell gives me a headache. sandalwood is the best 'woodsy’ smell & I will always stand by that. ANYWAY)

rosemary was listed last on the flavors so I was really hoping it was going to be slight. because I like berries/citrus so a TINY bit of rosemary would’ve been fine!

It Was Too Much Rosemary. AND the citrus was grapefruit, which is so much more tart than I like a tea to be, and probably my least favorite citrus. & I could not actually taste any berry taste personally so I don’t even have a guess as to what berry it was supposed to have.

HOWEVER.

This one tasted very healthy and I think it’s intended to be good for your skin (it says it creates a healthy glow so I assume maybe skin health stuff?) so I think the kind of person it could appeal to is someone who likes a very 'clean/fresh’ taste and likes to feel healthy. if that’s the reason u drink tea as opposed to flavor…YUP this is for you

also like if you’ve ever had the thought 'man this citrus or pine chemical cleaner smells good, I wish i could drink it and not die!’ this is YOUR 🫵 flavor for sure (and I mean that sincerely, I bet someone out there has had that thought. live your dream and pretend this is cleaner and then pretend to dramatically die after drinking it. I bet that would be sooo fun tbh)

trying rosemary tea was a new experience if nothing else and im always kinda happy to try smth new even if it’s not..my cup of tea B) that being said I am hoping there’s no other teas with rosemary for the rest of the days I have left. trying it ☝ 1 time ☝ was good enough for me!! I already knew I wasn’t the biggest fan of the flavor but I am glad to kinda confirm I don’t like it in tea. this new wisdom will only improve my tea shopping selections in the future

also I didn’t get pics of the tea today because of how hectic of a day it was with taking my cat to the vet. like I straight up forgot. it was a kind of light brown color with an almost pinkish undertone!! regardless of the unique taste it was very pretty TwT

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Tea #6: turmeric chai

SO I saw the flavor of this one and was like YEAH MAN LETS GO because chai is another tea I’ve never had as far as I can remember. And I’ve only had Indian food once bc there’s not rly any Indian restaurants locally and I’m not sure if tumeric was in it but I did really enjoy the food. so I was rly optimistic! but also a little cautious because i did have the thought of ‘what if this is a savory leaning tea like yesterdays and I don’t like it bc of that?? Isn’t turmeric used in curries usually?’ Yk 🤔

NOPE. FLAVOR JUMPSCARE. The smell is a warm cozy spice sort of smell, rly excellent for the winter season but the taste that immediately filled my mouth was a really sweet hard candy taste?? I did not expect that based on the smell and I actually had to set my mug down and readjust my expectations lmao

It’s such a distinct sweetness too, like it sticks to the back of your mouth and lingers… it’s almost too sweet which feels wild coming from me. This is really similar to hot cocoa in my brain where it’s like, this should not be drank this early in the morning but savored on a cold night?? Solidly a winter flavor bc of the cozy warm spice flavor. Imo it needs to be hot, having this one cold would be Bizarre.

This is a specific smell association BUT my mom used to have this spiced plum candle, and somehow it tastes similar to how that smelled?? (No plum in this as far as I’m aware but there is just a very strong candied aftertaste. I actually had to look and see the ingredients because the bottom of the tea bag box was vague, and the candy taste?? Dude that’s Licorice. But it’s not Nasty. It’s Good! It also involves ginger and cinnamon, which after reading I can taste.. and lemongrass which I can’t taste at all lol. I’m so surprised at the combo and how well it works. Licorice is kind of carrying the whole thing on its back. Licorice in this case is a beautiful butch woman and all the other flavors are femmes on her huge muscles. Do u understand. That’s the flavor balance of this one)

I bet if you added cream or milk to this and had it as a late night treat it would be DELICIOUS. I’m more of a fresh/floral tea enjoyer than a spiced one, but this one is pretty good and if u are a big spiced tea fan… I know it’d hit the spot bc its hitting for me and I only kinda like spiced tea. so yummy😩👌 and as you’d expect with a turmeric tea, it is yellow!

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tea 7: hibiscus blossom

I think it was tea #2 where I mentioned I really like hibiscus notes and that my username is based off a type of hibiscus flower so. I’m clearly biased but when I opened todays lil flap and saw it was hibiscus I was Very Happy 🥹

I knew I would like it and I do! There’s not really a lot to say about it though, like if you’ve had hibiscus tea it’s just a pretty good standard hibiscus tea with no weird surprises or anything unexpected going on. It’s kind of the same vein as green tea for me- no matter what brand u get or how expensive or cheap it is you can kinda always expect the same-ish flavor. This is really good if you’re like me and like Consistency in flavors or textures (I’m still salty they changed my candy hearts texture years ago. I never Forgive these type of crimes)

This one also has orange and apple (I think?) notes which are good with the hibiscus flavor, it seems like the longer I let it steep the more the fruit flavors comes out, (mostly the orange but I swear there’s apple-y flavors too..) the orange is making it a liiiitle more tart than hibiscus tea that I’m used to but it’s not bitter or anything.

I prefer hibiscus tea over ice and anything this floral and fruity is def a summer tea, but it’s excellent and I’d totally get this one again :3 I can imagine sitting in my hammock or in the porch sipping this one when it’s hot. It’s prob be really good with some real fruit tossed in it too to offset the tart flavor ugh 😩👌 hibiscus tea I LOVE you.

It’s a pretty red color, but not as dark/deep red as some other hibiscus teas I’ve tried. Still very pretty tho 👍

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since its been (1) week I thought it’d be fun to do a ranking of the teas so far from the advent calendar :3

from most favorite to least favorite of this week:

1. African solstice (overall fav)
2. Belgian mint (fav winter flavor)
3. hibiscus blossom (fav summer flavor)
4. mango citron
5. apricot amaretto
6. turmeric chai
7. radiance

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 tea 8: serenity

another one that’s name has nothing to do with the flavor, like radiance!! (also a little worried because this one is supposed to be calming and I don’t actually want to get sleepy an hour after waking up. so i’d rather it not calm me…)

its notes are supposed to be lavender, lemony nettle, and juniper berry. the website mentions spearmint, but the tea bag box doesn’t, which is surprising considering IMMEDIATELY as soon as I dunked the tea bag into the water, I was hit with LEMON and MINT when the mug was still an arm length’s distance away. Like I wasn’t even trying to smell it yet and they RAN to me 😳I actually love spearmint, so I was really hopeful that would be a prominent flavor!!

it also involves licorice in the ingredients, and the turmeric tea that had licorice last week…I distinctly remember thinking it’d be better without the licorice because that flavor wanted to LINGER and I am grateful this one did not do that!!!

this one is VERY lemongrass. I’m trying really hard to taste the other flavors, but lemongrass is like Hi, I’m Here I hope you like Me because I’m here! And I do like it, but I wish the other flavors were more present! Lemongrass isn’t a bad flavor, but it tastes exactly how you would expect something called Lemon Grass to taste. I can kind of smell the lavender when I really try, and it seems like the longer it steeps the more the lavender is trying to weasel in there with the flavors…and there’s the tiniest whisper of minty-ness in the aftertaste. not a tea for someone looking for Very Spearmint taste even if the smell is prominent 😔

I wouldn’t even call this a ‘calming/soothing’ flavor personally, if that were the case for me I’d rather the lavender to be more upfront and involve chamomile and vanilla too?? Softer Flavors…

(maybe this is an unpopular opinion but actually I don’t think anything involving mint OR lemon tastes are 'calming’ because those are distinctly strong 'wake up!’ flavors for me!! which I do like in this case because I’ve been drinking these in the mornings lol)

It does taste 'healthy’, like I could imagine being really sick and getting this one hot, and being told it’d help me feel better 😭 And today is a rainy gray day outside, so it’s kind of cozy, if not a little too 'fresh’ tasting for the cozy mood I want to be in if that makes sense. but I will finish the cup, and it is good to be clear. like it’s NOT a bad flavor, just very much for Fans of Lemongrass 🍋 sister to the flavor I said kinda tasted like cleaner but this one actually also tastes like a decent tea and not Just Cleaner, so it’s above that one for sure. a nice middle ranked tea for me!!

it has a pretty green tint! I like the color :>

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Tea 9: lemongrass ginger

OKAY. I have to make a correction for yesterdays tea (serenity); I was CONVINCED that one had lemongrass in the ingredients somewhere because the strong grassy lemon taste. It actually didn’t; it had “lemony nettle”… which was lemon balm and nettle. I was SO sure it was lemongrass just based on the taste and then when I opened todays flap and saw lemongrass I was like, 2 days in a row, really??? No, I was just Wrong (I stand by the fact the lemon taste was more prominent regardless in yesterdays, but still)

Ginger is one of those flavors I’m really picky about, and kind of like better in savory stuff, like the tea with rosemary from last week 😵‍💫 (except I also heavily associate ginger with ginger candies for nausea… so I was kinda nervous going into this one and hoping it wouldn’t make me feel kinda sick by flavor association)

BUT THERES LICORICE AGAIN AND THATS ALL I CAN TASTE

okay, I’m sure some people really enjoy it, but the way the sweet taste just wants to stick to the back of my throat is REALLY unpleasant. As far as I can tell the ginger is actually fine and I made it known yesterday I’m fine with lemongrass too but. MAN… licorice… WHO KEEPS INVITING YOU….

I’m not sure if it’s my association with ginger=for when I’m sick and lemongrass= a medicinal sort of flavor and licorice= tastes like cough syrup aftertaste but like yesterdays I’m like, this is Medicine Tea 🤨 that someone tried really hard to make sweeter than it should be. with yesterdays tho I could NOT taste the licorice but I. Def can today. And I’m starting to form an opinion on licorice root because of how strong it is (DO NOT PUT IT IN TEA) this one also has an undetectable spearmint flavor listed!!! It really is the sister tea to yesterdays which is confusing me a little (the company that makes these should’ve spaced out very similar flavors imo??) but if I had to pick, yesterdays was better because I couldn’t taste the licorice.

Someone needs to play tea bouncer and stop letting licorice into Club My Cup. I think just the ginger and lemongrass would be better without it! It actually makes them hard to taste because it’s just an overwhelming flavor so if ur wondering, this one just tastes like Licorice rolled in slight Grass. There’s a tingle when I drink it and I’m not sure if that’s the ginger or spearmint (a feeling, not even a flavor…) the smell of this one has a slight spice to it, and I’m a little sad to report it smells better than it tastes 😔

However it is a Pretty gold color 👀 the pictures don’t do justice to it, like it’s not just Yellow. It’s ✨Gold ✨

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Tea 10: cherry cosmo

This one was exciting because like. Fruit tea is one of my favs just in general (it’s got other fruits involved aside from cherries like apples and raspberry along with rose hips and hibiscus on the ingredients. Yes I’m checking now just to scan for licorice lmao) Even the COLOR upon steeping is a pretty reddish-pink tint so I was fully expecting this to taste like it was tailor made for me in a lab 😩)

The smell is very cherry and hibiscus 🌸💗 immediately upon smelling before even tasting I thought, this is a spring-summer flavor. It smells like eating cherries outside when the flowers have started blooming and it’s warm out UGHH I miss her (warm weather) (seasonal depression has me in a chokehold rn)

The cosmo taste is GOOD. I’ve never had a real cosmo but I have to assume it involves lime because there’s the cherry taste but a tart lil twist thrown in too (so not a overly sweet cough syrupy cherry, thank god) I had a suspicion this one would taste like a cherry limeade from sonic if I added a tiiiny bit of sugar, which is something I haven’t done so far (add anything to these) but I Had to Know. So I did that and the sugar (1 teaspoon) really balanced the tart lime taste in a way that just made it so mellow. Like post (1) spoon of sugar it tastes like a cherry candy. (For the record I do love lime, it’s arguably my favorite citrus and I thought it was good before the sugar, but my curiosity won today)

This one is so good. Maybe close if not tied with my favorite summer-y flavor from last week (and earning bonus points for being Pretty) if u enjoy fruit teas and don’t mind tartness it’s so good (I’d argue the tart lime taste would be really refreshing when it’s hot out and if u make this as an iced tea actually) this tea is pretty much exactly what u would expect it to be and I love that for me. Yummy tea for cherry and lime enjoyers. If ur hoping for an overly sweet maraschino cherry taste this isn’t that tho, it’s more like a dark cherry taste (and if the strong lime taste is a deal breaker this especially isn’t for u but again. Me and lime are besties 🤝 and I cherish her addition to this, it’s GOOD) def one I’d buy again, she is always welcome in MY HOUSE and MY CUP🍒‼️

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tea 11: raspberry nectar

I gotta state the obvious here: this drink sounds and also looks like barbie in barbie fairytopia would drink. it sounds like a drink you’d order at a cute cafe that would come with butterfly wings attached. before even drinking it won points for just having a Cute Name.

the nectar part is hibiscus, but the tea bag box also said it has apple and orange involved which. YUM?? the full fruit salad is here?? I like raspberry flavor well enough even if I don’t like actual raspberries (texture issue) And before drinking, there was an immediate STRONG raspberry smell, which is great. I really like when these teas smell and look exactly how I expect

the taste…so, there’s def that kind of tartness from the orange, raspberry, and hibiscus, bordering on sourness? NOT in a bad way tho. like similar to how you’d expect a sour candy to taste? does anyone remember those candy squeeze tubes??

something like this…imagine it without the horrible texture those things usually were (grainy sugar slime texture…) like, the taste of those with less sugar… that’s kind of where this lands for me? Blue raspberry might be a fake flavor but it’s like. I’m sure they put real raspberries in this tea but imo it does not exactly taste like real raspberry flavor it’s really closer to blue raspberry in my mind!! it’s NOT so sour it makes you wince, it’s still got a natural berry sweetness, so something like candy to me… (there’s def a sweet aftertaste, but not an annoying one like licorice, just a slight pleasant ‘yummy berry’ flavor)

if you like raspberries or sour candy this is a good one because it lands pretty spot on for that Distinct flavor (actually cannot really taste the other notes much. I can kinda get orange+hibiscus but Where is my Friend Apple…) it’s def one that’s intended to be iced, the tart taste would be AMAZING in hot weather + fresh fruit tossed in. Actually tastes like it would make a great sorbet flavor?? really nice berry tea, no complaints. she is yummy :3 that being said, def better cool or cold than hot imo. hot raspberry flavor is Weird (as I type this I am in fact waiting for it to cool down to room temp so I can ice it and it’s actively getting better the cooler it gets)

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Tea 12: winter chai

I love a warm cozy flavor this one is like. Tastes like late December, chief. This was another rooibos tea which was exciting 😩 my girl has Returned!!! It also had notes of cinnamon, cardamom and vanilla and it just tasted like a warm hug UGHHHH cozy nice toasty flavor. To me it kind of gives French toast. Like it’d go crazy with that or like. A stroopwafel. Idk it’s the kind of flavor I want to pair with something really sweet and warm like a maple flavor 🥺 (would also go crazy with cookies)

The only thing I will say is the flavor was SO mild a first I had to let it steep extra long to really taste it, but I think that mildness is kind of nice in way. It’s just a warm sweet nice tea. It won’t punch u in the face or offend u it’s just a gentle soul…. The lil bit of spice is cozy. It’s not an overwhelming amount of any one note, it’s a very good balance of all of them. Everyone say thank u to winter chai. I would happily have this one every day of winter for breakfast ngl 🥹👌

Normal brownish tea color because she’s humble and not a show off 🫶

 

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Tea 13: spiced herbal maté

The tea bag box says invigorating blend of lemon, cinnamon and fennel which to me sounds like a weird combo (also one of the few teas with caffeine but not a ton, which is good bc I’m not supposed to have caffeine lol)

It smells a little spiced but not overwhelming. I’ve learned during this tea advent calendar I really like a spiced tea! It’s just Cozy. This one sounded like. Honestly lemon and cinnamon SHOULDNT work together but it’s really good!!

It has a slightly green tea/grassy taste overall but with a warm spice taste added. I actually don’t think I’d agree that its “invigorating” tho, to me this is a nice evening Autumn-y flavor I’d chill with. Better hot/warm than cold, and better when it’s cold outside (we’re having a random warm weather week here in December which is. Not the vibe for this tea lol) it’s got a sort of flat taste like green tea does (I mean this as a compliment I love green tea) the secondary notes are not annoying like it’s not overly complicated. Simple and clean 👌

it’s pretty good!! I think I like some other spiced teas in the set slightly more but this one is delicious and I’d drink it again.

Pretty golden brown color ✨

 

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Tea 14: chocolate fondue

OK OK I KNOOOW. I said I’m drinking these without add ins, just water but this one absolutely required milk right?? Like it’s CHOCOLATE FONDUE. I broke out the saucepan to make sure the flavor REALLY got infused too (using half water half milk) kept it on low heat for a while so it doesn’t burn 👍

notes on the bottom said it was a rooibos with strawberries and chocolate so truly what I think of when I expect chocolate fondue (being able to dip stuff in it like strawbs)

Also a very valentines sounding flavor! The strawberry smell was very vibrant right away before the milk even started getting darker. I should say, hot chocolate is one of my fav things in the world and I adored that Belgian mint choco tea near the start of this advent calendar, so I was Excited ™️

Ofc because I had to boil it to be sure the flavor was strong enough, it took forever to cool down enough to drink without scalding (this has actually been the case with a lot of these, I’ll work and just have the tea hang out until it’s warm rather than hot, but this one had me so impatient because it smelled and sounded conceptually So Good) I was convinced this one would be my fav of the week before I tasted it because the name and notes just sound very Up My Alley

It’s …Okay! I think I hyped it up so much I wanted it to be outstanding. And it’s decent!! It’s not bad. But between this and Belgian mint, I think that one is a better sort of faux hot cocoa-esque dessert tea… there’s a sort of bitterness to this one that was not in the other one and I’m really confused where that vibe is coming from (it’s more of a dark chocolate taste maybe?? That’s my best guess, but I’m honestly not sure because) I feel like… adding stuff goes a little against the spirit of the way I usually drink tea but man… I went and added some chocolate in an effort to make it more hot chocolate-y and less bitter 😭

And then after 2 squares of milk chocolate and 2 teaspoons of sugar u wanna know what?? It tasted really REALLY good. It was smooth and sweet and a little strawberry. This is my important Scrooge Christmas lesson: I need 2 stop being scared of adding things to my tea because sometimes…. It needs a lil help. I like the ones that are good on their own bc it’s less effort but the effort today noticeably improved it lmao?? It’s now a very seasonally appropriate flavor! This also could’ve been a human error on my part, maybe I steeped it TOO long and the flavor got a little burnt?? But either way it’s really nice after my add ins 🥹

(but also, when I have to add a ton of add ins, I’d probably just reach for actual hot chocolate at this point…I suppose if ur also lactose intolerant this one + water and sugar would be a decent treat, but again, if u like mint choco, Belgian mint is just a Better choco tea imo)

Before and after of the color when adding chocolate:

And since it’s been another week (WHAT) I’ll rank this weeks:

1. winter chai (surprised me by how much I liked it and im also surprised im ranking it at the top. but. it was excellent actually)
2. raspberry nectar- this one grew on me so much. conceptually good and tastes exactly how I wanted it to. a solid summer tea that would be really good iced + fruit added
3. spiced herbal mate- u might be surprised by this one ranking higher than cherry cosmo but idk..something about how versatile I felt like it was and mellow…I liked it
4. cherry cosmo- for one this good I feel weird putting it so far down. i was CONVINCED this would would be near the top but?? raspberry nectar charmed me so much…this one was SUPER good too and made me want a real cosmo but I know I’d be mad if it didn’t live up to this tea lol
5. chocolate fondue- ‘good after a ton of add-ins’ means it needed help. the ones above it were pretty good on their own…I wanted to LOVE this one but only could after it called for help 😔
6. serenity- I almost want to dock points because i struggle to spell serenity for some reason. this is not really this tea’s fault. i really appreciate the fact it supposedly had licorice but i couldnt taste it, but also, no tea NEEDS licorice. I knooow what it was going for though and if u like these kind of healthy vibes teas i’m sure you’d love it
7. lemongrass ginger- you are NEVER invited back to chalet sanchoyo. ever. blacklisted blocked and reported

 

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Tea 15: wild berry hibiscus

I mean this in the kindest way- all hibiscus tea kinda tastes the same to me (I love it!! It’s not much different from the other hibiscus teas in this set tho. But I like a predictable tea!! That’s the Reason me and green tea are besties)

it’s fruity and floral. The berry taste is nice, but they’re def second fiddle to the tart hibiscus taste!! Just a very refreshing and bright tasting tea, another one that would pair well with fruit and be nice in the summer. But. Unlike some of the other hibiscus teas this one is good both hot and cold imo tho bc the berry flavor kinda gives hot fruit pie?? It’s GOOD. And she’s a pretty color. Immediately upon dunking the tea bag it started turning that deep berry-red 😩👌

Supposedly has licorice root according to the ingredients. Not noticeable 👌 thank you for being subtle with it. Also the ‘berries’ are raspberries and blackberry leaves, there’s also apple and orange peel but I’d say those flavors are indistinct? Can’t pick them out from each other even after reading the list, it’s just overall ‘fruity and mostly hibiscus’ flavor. It’s good 👍

 

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Tea 16: blueberry merlot

BLUEBERRY MIGHT BE THE MOST UNDERRATED BERRY THERE IS. Strawberries were sooo trendy the last few years but my girl blueb is always good. Good in perfumes good in muffins good in candles good on her own?? I got really excited for this one, and when I was waiting for it to steep, I did go looking for the notes (I’ve been trying to read the notes as I sip to taste them all) and this one has an award!!!! From the website: Voted “Best Herbal Tea in North America” by the World Tea Expo

First off how do I get into that tea expo I’m very opinionated and while I’m not an expert, I can dress cutely as if it’s a tea party?? They should invite me. I have a teacup hat ready to go. Second off I have very (berry) high expectations after seeing it won that. (Despite never hearing about this expo before and not knowing their actual credentials lol)

the bag was pretty, it had super bright lil blue bits in there (hard to capture on camera so u guys just gotta trust me on that. or look up the pic of the blend on their website ig) despite that it was an assuming default Brown Tea color. Like this is the color of sweet tea at any given fast food place in the south. (A part of me reallllly wanted it to be blue or purpleish. I’m not docking or adding points to any of these for color but it makes me personally happy when it’s fun to look at…)

There’s notes of blueberries (obviously) sage (confusing??) and hibiscus (we’ve established how much I like hibiscus) the smell is immediately VERY blueberry.

I was kinda thrown by the idea of sage bc to me sage is savory right?? Like sage goes into a nice roast…

WRONG. SAGE GOES INTO A NICE TEA. Holy SHIT. I can see why this won that award. It’s SO GOOD. the sage does add a lil full savory vibe but the blueberries are the star. The hibiscus is noticeable but keeps it from being too sweet without too much of that usual hibiscus tartness (it adds a lil sour vibe at the end but in a good way yk). I could see this also being nice cold, but it’s giving blueberry pie when it’s hot which is nice (also def a summer flavor) it’s a pretty even split between the flavor notes where they’re all noticeable but not too Much, like they are working 🤝 together here

trying to describe the actual flavor is so hard because it really isn’t just straightforward blueberry taste bc of the other stuff in it (esp the sage). Obscure reference but u guys know the gum that goes thru all the meal courses and turns into blueberry pie at the end of chewing it from Willy wonka. It’s That. To me. Like it’s how I imagined that gum to be as a kid but Real and a Tea. I’ve def never had a tea like this so it’s an Experience. Very fresh and original tbh. Never had merlot to compare if it actually tastes similar 😔

Possibly this one will be in the top 5 overall. I still think African solstice is my fav so far but man this one was awesome. thank u blueberry merlot

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Tea 17: lemon lavender

I like when a tea name is straightforward. Like yeah man it’s gonna have lemon, and lavender. She’s simple and clean. The bottom of the bag box says apple too and I love apple (actually still hoping one of the remaining teas will be strongly apple…) and the tea itself is chamomile so I expected a clean and chill grassy tea

It pretty much tastes exactly how it sounds!! I’m okay with lavender (actually I have a slight grudge against it bc when I try to find lilac scented stuff they always pair them and they never let lilac be on its own, but that’s irrelevant to how this tea tastes lmao) to me it just kinda tastes leafy in a similar way to green tea but slightly more floral, which is fine (I kind of like the perfumey teas if that’s what you’d call them. Bc this one is perfumey and if u don’t vibe with lavender you won’t like this) I keep calling if clean but I mean that in an affectionate way, like it tastes how a soap or detergent would smell to me with the main notes of lemon and lavender (I SWEAR I mean this in a good way, this one is good!!!)

the lavender adds a lil floral sweetness that’s pretty nice as an aftertaste. This feels like a fancy flavor (maybe just bc I don’t have lavender in a lot of stuff??) like one you’d have at a tea party.

Mostly with this one I’m glad there’s no surprises. It tastes exactly how u expect that name to taste. Yummy. Spring tea to me. Would be really cute with an actual lemon slice and sprig of lavender in top. Would probably also be good iced too bc the lemon is refreshing! But the chamomile and lavender are relaxing flavors so like. In my mind it’s ideal for a bedtime tea or really early morning. Kind of versatile imo. I actually really like it the more I drink!! Yaaay world peace

It’s a Brownish yellow color

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Tea 18: purify

Historically I’ve had bad times with the teas with vague names in this set (serenity and radiance) so the Dread I felt upon opening it…

Ingredients list did NOT HELP. To be so fair the main notes sound pretty good on the tea bag box (ginger grapefruit and hibiscus) AND it involves spearmint, cinnamon, rooibos, etc that I like all of… (gotta say they sound weird together) but man. Licorice….

The first smell and taste are good. I tried really hard to like this one because if licorice wasn’t there I like pretty much every flavor, and it has a good spiced smell. And if you like licorice, I’m sure it’s good, but I can’t get over that nasty gooey slime the licorice seems to leave behind as an aftertaste. It’s not even a mouth aftertaste, it’s In my Throat and it makes me gag 😖 it’s a no from me dog……. My autism texture issues hate this thang (licorice in tea)

I tried to drink half the cup to make myself like it or try to get used to the feeling bc I wanted to like it. But no all these hippy named ones are just. not my Vibe 😰 sorry purify ur gonna be bottom of this weeks list for sure 👎 go purify that licorice out and come back pls

 

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Tea 19: strawberry apple

Didn’t I JUST say the other day I want a very apple-y tea?? And who doesn’t like strawberries. This is such a For Me sounding flavor it’s unreal I got so excited.

Shenanigans afoot this morning: I actually let it steep a lot longer than it was supposed to because the hook my birdfeeder is on broke and I can’t in good conscious work at my desk when the bird feeder is empty or otherwise inaccessible due to a broken hook SO. I spent like 10-15 mins outside fixing that before going OH NO MY TEA IS STILL STEEPING AAAA and running back in.

When I came back in it was still a pretty pale yellow with a very very subtle strawberry smell, but you have got to sniff HARD to smell it. Which surprised me bc it steeped arguably longer than any other tea I’ve had so I was ?? Confused?? Where’s the smell…

They need to make the flavor stronger, that is my Review. Like Okay, it’s a good flavor, but it’s SO subtle. I feel like I had to squint to taste it. Squint my tastebuds… it’s def a summer tea that would benefit from fruit to give it more flavor add actual strawberries and apples i really don’t mind a subtle tea but this is almost ‘hard to taste a flavor besides water’ flavor?? I was worried I did something wrong like… did steeping it too long… somehow…. Evaporate the flavor?? (This is not possible I don’t think but. who Knows) did I not get the water hot enough?? (But I’ve been hearing all of these the exact same times. So??)

The flavor I can taste is good, I just wish it was a lot stronger. There’s a pretty even fruity flavor between strawberries and apples, and supposedly there’s supposed to be lemon notes but I’m not getting that at all… I don’t mind a subtle and calm tea- I actually go for plainer ones in general with my preferences and they can be so good when ur suffering Upset Stomach and need smth real chill (often the case here in casa sanchoyo) but this was just Not as strong as it should’ve been imo. Like I wanted it to be Summery and Fruity and it was kind of the lacroix of this set?? Whisper of fruit… to be so clear the whisper was yummy and I will finish it but I want More of the Taste. Like it’d take 3-4 of the lil tea pyramid bags in my mug to make it as strongly flavored as the other teas so far I think…I wanted hot fruit pie taste and it gave me ‘strawberry and apple came over and cried a single teardrop each into this water’ 😔

Oh also there was a weird sort of oily film and lil Bits on the top? I think the bag might’ve had a small tear. Or maybe the film was ‘let it sit too long’ It didn’t seem to make a difference in any kind of bad way tho (no gross texture or anything) but that’s why the picture is like That 😭 but yes a very pale yellow (the cup always casts a shadow and makes it look a lil darker than these actually are but I swear it’s so pale irl…)

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Tea 20: chamomile citron

I like chamomile (that being said it’s never helped me sleep as it’s supposed to??) and I like a citrusy tea so long as it’s not bitter!!

But,

The dreaded Licorice… I literally like every other flavor tho, and those are all strong flavors with personality! Also I think there have been ones with licorice in this pack I didn’t even notice bc it was not so strong it did the annoyingly sweet or throat coating thing it likes to do so I am trying to give every tea a fair shot.

One thing I AM not going to forgive is the website saying this tea is ‘blush pink’.

Is … is the pink in the room with us rn??

It was actually GREEN when I stuck the teabag in and then a light brownish with a green tint after steeping. (Probably the most drastic color change out of this set I’ve seen actually) but This makes me feel crazy. This is NOT pink, right?? Brown is not a shade of pink. Do not buy this tea if you’re looking for a specifically pink tea ok. the website is LYING or someone is colorblind.

Okay now for how it actually tastes (I’ve always saved my lil tea pics until the end so that’s how u know I felt strongly abt that. Breaking my order)

The licorice isn’t overpowering or even really noticeable!!!!!! Everyone clap cheer and cry with me. It’s a sweet and earthy flavor… I’d you’ve had chamomile it’s like. A lil grassy, a lil honeyed floral taste. I actually can’t taste any citron or lemon at all which is kind of funny? (Or the supposed apple-y notes but I’m not even sure where those would come from looking at the ingredients) I wouldn’t even call it fruity/citrusy like the description insists it is- it’s just like. A smooth and nice chamomile taste to me.

I’m confused at the whole description on the website bc it doesn’t taste how they say it will and if certainly is Not Pink??? Like who Wrote all that. It’s not true and don’t buy this tea if ur buying it for those listed notes or color. Wrongest person of the day and my day just started

Mostly I’m glad about the licorice being undetectable tho. This tea is just a good chamomile. Actually really good, going to finish the cup. Altho I’m not sure if I’d buy this over a regular (cheaper) chamomile (esp since there’s a warning on the website not to drink too much licorice root, this couldn’t be a nice every evening tea whereas a regular chamomile without that would prob be fine) it’s Good 👍

(Me when I’m a lying teabag box tho 👆)

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Tea 21: mojito marmalade

Another cutely named tea themed around something I have no frame of reference for (there’s been a few alcohol named ones in this pack. I should say I have like. 1 drink every 2-3 years at this point and it’s not any of the ones these are named after so far lol I’m a daiquiri or mimosa fan) HOWEVER

The notes sound so good. Tropical drink ✔️ mint and citrus ✔️ my girl rooibos in TWO VARIETIES ✔️ (green rooibos?? When rooibos has been the star of this pack and green tea is my actual usual tea??? Let’s GO crossover of the century) no licorice ✔️

I’d never heard of honeybush but I looked it up and it’s very similar to rooibos supposedly but sweeter and more honeyed. When I say my mouth was watering waiting for this to cool enough to try, I am not being hyperbolic 😩

Oh my god u guys this is The One this week. Best for last. First of these teas to actually mean it when it says spearmint but it’s not so overpowering (it smells more minty than it tastes but the smell is rly good.) I’d say the citrus is actually the most subtle part which is surprising but the like. Idk base tea taste?? I assume it’s the rooiboses and the honeybush I’m tasting but it really is just so naturally sweet and smooth in a way that’s not Too Much.

The taste isn’t as grassy as a fully green tea, it’s a lil tiny hint of it at the end but mostly it’s a sweet and mild taste. It’s kind of like.. a grain taste?? Like it’s almost bread-y which sounds so weird but I swear it’s so good, it’s a cozy and comfy full flavor. This is going to sound crazy but I feel like this would be a good ice cream flavor lol??

I think African solstice is still the best rooibos tea in this pack but man this one is yummy. A ‘drink too fast then regret it because now its gone’ type good. Everyone say thank u to the cutely named after alcohol ones they have been heavy hitters. this one esp could benefit from some orange and lemon/lime slices to rly bring out more of that citrus taste tho. it’d hit so good mid summer iced with fruit.

It’s golden reddish brown ✨

ALSO. This weeks ranking:

1. mojito marmalade- (I don’t want to hear ‘recency bias’!!! It’s my fav this week 😭)
2. blueberry merlot- (the sage was unexpected but overall such an interesting flavor. more blueberry in things forever)
3. lemon lavender- (her fancy flavor and simple charm were beloved)
4. chamomile citron- (debated having this one higher. it was really good, and I could see it being a Regular for me just day to day bc the flavor was so nice. AND it gets bonus points for the licorice being there but unnoticed. but also, like. its very much a standard chamomile taste, so the others got higher with their Unique Personalities)
5. wild berry hibiscus- I did enjoy this one but like the chamomile it was just kind of 'standard hibiscus’ taste to me, like if I can buy something very similar to these at any grocery store. yknow! the very unique ones are a lil more fun…but was still Good
6. strawberry apple- I wanted this one to be so much more, and I still believe in its potential, but man…….nothingburger. it made me #sad
7. purify- don’t EVER ☝ talk to me about purify 😡

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Tea 22: citrus mint

First tea of the new year wooo (happy new year!!) the very simple list of ingredients made me laugh a little

That’s all?? You’re not gonna put like.. any type of tea leaves in there?? Ok man sure. I like both of those two things. Still, it’s prob the most simple tea so far (tho tbf I haven’t been checking the ingredients every single day, I think I started abt 2 weeks in) I actually woke up with a sore throat so I was hoping the mint would be strong ™️ esp bc all I could smell was a peppermint smell

It’s very mellow? Like it’s not overly minty or citrusy, it’s abt an even blend of both but neither are strong. I’m actually surprised by how subtle it is? It’s not untastable like strawberry apple was but I wanted it to be stronger still- it’s very light. But it does taste good! It’s refreshing in a way that makes me think it’s be good steeped longer and iced for summer. I’ll def finish the cup, but it tastes pretty much how it sounds, except milder. Like it’s exactly what it says on the tin. Its simple. It’s citrus and mint 🫡 if it’s only got those two things this would would be so easy to recreate at home cheaper than what u can buy from their website (ig ur paying for convenience, and their specific ratios if u enjoy them, but if u make this homemade u could make it stronger too…) it is a nice combo of flavors tho just in general. Fresh. Stronger mint taste at the verrrry bottom of the cup 👍

(I didn’t get a pic of the tea bag box this morning) (u guys will just have to take my word it’s citrus mint) it’s a light yellowish brown 👌

 

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Tea 23: pink papaya nectar

The penultimate tea from this advent calendar….. I haven’t tried papaya as far as I can remember. It’s just not a fruit I’ve ever seen at my local grocery stores (bud I love fruity and floral teas so I’m like 👀 immediately…) while I waited for it to steep I checked the website because it has slightly more info than the tea bag box does

Dude I Love Tropical Flavors like Pineapple. And it has apple!! The purple sweet potato confused me a little- is that for sweetness or Color?? There were bright purple or blueish bits in the teabag that really stood out so that’s probably it. I don’t actually like sweet potato but I do always appreciate a Pretty tea so I’m hoping it’s not super Present taste wise before drinking.

Also Notice how like the one from the other day this one claims to be pink on the website? This one is closer to actually being pink… but it’s still more orangish-brown than I think I properly ‘pink’ tea should be (the pic of the tea at the bottom has both the tea and a snippet of my actually pink pajama pants. Decide for urself if the tea is pink I guess)

The smell is a little fruity and kind of.. like a dry musk smell?? Perfume musk, and it’s not a bad smell, but def not what I was expecting?? This could just be how papayas smell, I have no reference for them.

The first sip had such a Tang to it I had to sit the cup down to process. Like it’s hard to describe for this one- it’s not a sour or tart tang, it’s like… the same kind of musk taste as the smell? And it’s naturally sweet but in a floral way.. if you’ve ever tried honeysuckle, it’s kind of reminding me of that with the after taste. Like a very sap-from-a-flower taste (I guess nectar is in the name, but..I was expecting a more fruity than floral balance and this is Not That)

Even after a few sips I kept kind of going back and forth on if I liked it? It’s not outright nasty like almost any tea with licorice is- it’s a unique flavor and I’m just not used to it because I’m not sure if I’ve ever had anything close to this just. In general yk?? But I kept sipping trying to figure it out, and I think I do like it- it’s way more sweet than I expected too tho and that’s another thing that’s throwing me off. It’s a very unique and Distinct tea and I’m not sure if I’ll rank it above or below yesterdays because of that?? Like this one has me Confused all around. As I type this the cup is almost empty bc I kept drinking to try to decide if I like it or not. it’s such a Particular flavor??

For the record I really don’t taste pineapple, apple, or citrus, I think what I’m tasting is the papaya and possibly the purple sweet potato (but it’s not bad, like I usually don’t like sweet potatoes but it’s not offensively strong here) and definitely the flower taste.

I suspect this tea might be for people who have more refined and also more… eccentric tea tastes than I do?? Like if ur someone who is into the idea of experimental food or loves to try unusual things this is Like That. to me.

The more I drink the more I’m like Yeah I think I do like this but it wouldn’t be a regular for me? It actually tastes much better the more it cools so like. Given it’s tropical Vibe I’d say ice this bad boy and add fresh fruit to it for Optimal Tea. And I would also say Do not add sugar it’s already naturally sweet in that fruity sort of way I think sugar would make it actually nasty.

Anyway Behold her Color

 

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Tea 24: harvest apple spice

Last tea of the little advent calendar!! I said last night I was going to do smth special, so I woke up around 5 and started cooking breakfast. It took around…2 ½ hours? To cook everything (I was cooking for my family too) so it gave me plenty of time to actually get hungry (I rly don’t like eating first thing after waking up)

(Ignore the water spot on the menu I was man handling everything) like I said last night, I knew I didn’t have everything for eggs Benedict so it’s a bastardized version lmao. But aside from the hollandaise sauce being way too watery and barely noticeable in the pics bc of that (too much butter and not enough egg yolks I think??) everything tasted good!! (Something I didn’t mention on the menu was that the grilled cheese was garlic with 2 cheeses. Excellent ™️)

I went for apple butter and apple waffles to match the tea (also I just think savory pairs well with apple flavor)

And like I said: FANCY TEACUP.

Surprisingly it fits about the same amount of liquid my usual small mug does! The tea itself tasted very Strong. Finally a Nice strong Appley Tea! It tastes like a blend of apple pie spices. Very fall flavor, very clove-heavy (wish it was slightly less clovey actually) also it was A liiiittle more bitter than I like (probably the dry cinnamon/clove taste), so I did add two lil spoons of sugar (one spoon of brown sugar and one of white sugar) and it hit that perfect apple pie taste. Very similar to apple cider, which isn’t rly a surprise. Like it taste exactly like u would expect from the name. Rooibos base which is rich and warm tasting 🥹

Def needed the sugar to get to a point where I was like ‘oh This is Apple Pie, yum’ as opposed to ‘dry bitter spice apples’ taste 🤨 but with a lil help we got there… also was kind of bad cold (cooking took so long it got cold and I had to reheat it so I tried it both temps) this is a Must Be Warm one 👌

Pretty reddish brown, ending with a Tea Colored Tea feels appropriate 🎉 I’ll do the rankings (both the last three and overall) later today! 👀

 

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FINAL TEA POST OF THE ADVENT CALENDAR: the rankings! (Final until...well. keep an eye on my art blog :)) I didn't wanna do numerical rankings, but more like..sort them into categories??

last three ranked: citrus mint- surprisingly this one was my fav of the last three. it was simple but good! pink papaya nectar- the more I think abt it the more I think I did enjoy this one (the fact I kept going back and forth is funny tho) the tropical flavor was nice! harvest apple spice- I wanted this one to be #1 but its such a specific fall flavor and I don't /love/ cloves and I had to add sugar to really love it. but I do love apple!! All the last three were pretty good, so it being last doesn't mean I hated it or anything.

overall ranking:

top three overall favs: African solstice, winter chai, Belgian mint

I'd drink this again HAPPILY (runners up for favs): mojito marmalade, blueberry merlot, lemon lavender, citrus mint, spiced herbal mate

'I could get something similar at home or the grocery store, probably better to do that than pay the price of this tea', or 'okay' tier: pink papaya nectar, cherry cosmo, hibiscus blossom, mango citron, wild berry hibiscus, chamomile citrus, raspberry nectar

I needed to add stuff to improve these/wanted them to taste kinda different from how they did:

harvest apple spice, chocolate fondue, apricot amaretto, turmeric chai

DO NOT COME BACK EVER: strawberry apple, purify, serenity, lemongrass ginger, radiance

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a warm cup of tea, and Stir, Sugar, and Steam, the tea fairies that make it taste good :)

one of my goals for this year is to share more traditional art! these are watercolors done with tea and also gold paint accents :)

it was kind of hard to scan them and actually capture the shiny gold in a flat scan, so I included a video with the process and a lil more commentary, and the end shots show how the gold moves across the paper :D

 

 

 

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(There was slightly more info in each post's tags, you can scroll thru the tea blogging tag there to read them if you want even more details!) 

 

 

tumblr getting worse and throwing up Death flags (for the 233434 time) I know not everything can last forever, but I have been on tumblr since...geez, my first blog was made when I was like. 14? 15? I met some of my best friends on there, so it's depressing when it gets actively worse. For those not on there, the change is described like this:

I guess I should start shifting my focus to neocities and actually using my blog here, but the tone is different... I have so many friends on there, it's saddening to think I might lose connections with them, if a bunch of people jump ship. As a creative, I GET why you'd jump ship after this. I'm contemplating it. But... also, I am terrified of losing my art blog on there + my text posts from years and years ago on my main blog. It just. those blogs are huge and are gonna take a while to back up- I guess I could do compilations of them on here, but...it'll take a while! Maybe I could make a dedicated tumblr section where you can sort by subject matter (personal musing text posts, vs various fandom text posts I made?? it's a concept I'm considering...)

I want to save up and get a nice big hard drive to put those backups + backups of this site and my comic site onto, just in case. It's Just... The temporary nature of the internet makes me sad if I think too much about it. I don't want to be on twitter/twitterlike. I don't like the format!!! I don't love meta-based stuff, or want a tiktok, though I do have an instagram, it's mostly to keep up with a handful of friends more than anything... I don't like the format of it, either!! It's hard for artists, it's not good for engagement, or big walls of text!!! Nothing is quite Like Tumblr's format. youtube is the next closest place I'm somewhat active, but it's def not the same. Blogging and video platforms are WILDLY different, yk. It's frustrating; there's a few tumblr-likes, but they're all too niche. None of my Buddies on there!!! T_T

There's been very strange weather here (tornados followed by snow. in MID-MARCH?? I LIVE IN THE SOUTH THAT. SNOW NEVER HAPPENS THIS LATE IF MUCH AT ALL.) and my job giving me no hours + no luck job hunting and just really awful anxiety-inducing stuff irl happening.... I legit have felt a Terrible Dread and sense of Doom like the world is Ending for like. a month straight. it is affecting my health. it is. not going great, gang, if I am being so honest. I never intended this to be a vent-space, so I don't necessarily want to go into it in detail, but... I am really thankful I have people I can talk to. Because in a lot of ways, with everything going on for me personally, and in the world, I think it's very easy to feel hopeless right now!

I even made very stupid oc vent art about this (yes. this is what my vent art looks like these days. less edgy and more 'I desperately want to make myself laugh with my dumb little catgirl ocs' OUGH)

but i am trying very hard to cope, and to find joy in things I used to like and have been on a nostalgia kick. thank you to everyone who has ever said nice things to me publicly bc i am. rereading old comments. to make me feel like things I put into the world like. Have Value. I guess 😭

it rly is crazy how much more popular my writing was vs my art, though. the amount of feedback I got on my first fic set a standard I think is REALLY hard for any of my current projects to reach.

In 2018, I started a cute little fic called warm healer, for the bnha (my hero academia) fandom. It was a very fluffy, shigaraki x reader fic. I'm gonna be so honest: I did not read any x reader fics at the time. Maybe... 2 or 3? I didn't love the way people used Y/N, it was jarring and took me out of it, so I was like. I wonder if I could write a SI fic where I don't use Y/N at all? At the time, it felt like the perfect storm- there weren't many Shigaraki-centric fics in general- we didn't have his backstory at all- and even less SI ones. So it was like, almost niche? at the time... And on a personal note, at the time, I really valued it as a creative outlet because I was in a shitty, shitty retail job. To this day, it's still my most kudo'd fics, and still on the first page if you sort shigaraki/reader by kudos, lmao. Impressive, for a fic without smut, imo (nothing wrong with some smut, but it was escapism for me, and that did not Involve Smut at the time)!!

And also impressive for a fic with...less than great grammar, and admittedly, kind of poorly-researched concepts. I did originally just write it for Me (in the early chapters esp, there are some. Embarrassingly Glaring American-isms.). I had no plans to publish it, but did on a kind of whim... and it did really well!! I was surprised by the feedback, and super motivated to try to make it Good for anyone reading. For me, I just wanted a little escapism- super cheesy, fluffy, fun adventure stuff. I guess it was a combo of my passion, good timing, a niche subject matter at the time, and a HUGE fandom that made it get as much attention as it did (and compared to the 'big fics' in the bnha fandom, it's still comparatively niche!! which is wild. but for me, it's NOT!!! It was Everything. NONE of my other stuff had EVER gotten so much love, vocally in the comments.)

I fully intended to do a third big installment on the series, but cold love, warm healer's sequel, struggles to even break 1k kudos, so I thought. Hmm. nah. Esp when I have no interest in finishing bnha considering I heard they killed off my favorite characters. Plural. And I kept hearing the ending was bad for villain fans. So. Maybe one day I WILL read the few arcs at the end where I dropped it and go on a long rant. or make a fix-it fic. Honestly, cold love/warm healer were SO removed from canon as it was, they diverged early enough I could probabllllly get away with not reading it and just skimming wikis, but that feels... I dunno. disingenuous to actual fans, somehow?? Though it seems like the ending was universally disliked by most people i've talked to, I am kind of aware that I was in a niche bubble of the fandom that liked the antagonists more than the main characters. SO. Also, I wonder if the interest warm healer/cold love got would even still be there after such a bad ending to the manga + so many years later? Dunno. I look back at that period of my life with such rosy glasses... but I don't think it'd be quite the same now.

It's funny; I used to wonder why in the world I latched onto THOSE characters so hard at the time, and it's like. baby that's a mirror. Of course you're relating to the characters that feel isolated from society and are by all means 'losers' and 'underdogs'. You have mental illnesses and feel stuck at home a lot of the time, you're desperate for a group of friends like that. Of course characters that accept others no matter what struck a cord. ...Though in retrospect, it's really funny how different the main character/SI was from me. I'M NOT EVEN A GIRL. OR UH. INTO MEN (I guess fictional men are different but legitimately even latching onto them is hard these days. I feel spoiled by the plethora of lesbian characters now, almost. or at least 'well written enough women characters where I can attach onto them like a starfish mentally. lol). If I was to change stuff up upon some sort of rewrite/sequel, I do think it'd be super funny to make the SI character nonbinary and just NOT mention it, lmao. In a lot of ways, though, I do think bnha had an overall positive impact on me; for whatever can be said about the shonen-typical misogyny, transphobia, and poor handling of discrimination subjects, and poor ending... the community I was in was very kind to me and boosted my self-esteem a lot by being so vocally loving.  

sometimes when I am In a Mood I think, who am I doing the stuff I love for? Myself? It can be demoralizing, to feel like I'm putting a lot of love and effort into something that gets next to no feedback; doubly so after my first lil fan project when I was considerably LESS SKILLED at writing/art got more attention and I got a bit spoiled on it. Even if the fandoms I focus on now are considerably smaller, and my work is still niche within the already small community.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Typically, I do get Hit With Seasonal Affective Disorder around winter, but usually by now it clears up a bit; so I'm annoyed I'm still kind of down and depressed (I hung up my hammock because it was in the 70s this weekend, only for it to snow!!! GIRL WHAT). A lot of it is circumstantial, but it's really hard to feel motivated to do creative projects when I'm in this type of mood. I do think it's... bad... to only do projects for outside approval, though... I am not the type of writer or artist that only chases what's popular for more engagement. Not to sound like a hipster or to disparage artists that draw whats popular to sell more stuff, but... I am too centered around what I personally like to do and I have a really hard time watching new stuff, I guess?

But when I put so much work and passion into something, I want to yell LOOK AT IT!!!!! LOOK AT MY THING. TELL ME I'M DOING GOOD ON MY THING!!!!!! LOVE IT LOUDLY AND PUBLICLY LIKE I AM. STOP BEING EMBARRASSED OF MY CATGIRLS OR I'LL DROP IT AND SET IT ALL ON FIRE NOW!!! NO ONE WILL GET IT AND I WILL NEVER POST AGAIN!! it's easy to get angry, too. I honestly feel like a lot of things online are designed to make people angrier. I just want to yell for attention, and get mad when I don't get the attention I feel like the amount of work I put into stuff warrants. Which is unfair; no one owes me that, but brains are funny. Even if you rationally know something, sometimes emotions just override that, and you turn into a Pouty Baby about things. It's annoying! I wish I better knew how to just directly asking for attention or feedback without feeling annoying, haha...

I know this is childish of me, it kind of gives fanfic.net authors who 'held fics hostage' in the early 2000s; like 'if this doesn't get comments I'll drop it!!' which is so funny to me, because you know what?? I'm also a lurker usually, lmao; so if I did ever have an Episode and delete everything, I'd be a hypocrite...

It's This:

I try not to be so impulsive these days, but if I was younger, I would've; I deleted plenty of old art/blogs when I was a teenager on a whim. I think I might pour too much of my own self worth and myself into things, and then when people don't love them, it feels like they don't love me? Which. is so obviously not true, even typing it out feels silly. But that's the kind of internal logic I'm rocking with sometimes, when my mental state is crashing and burning like it has been lately. I just kind of want everything to be easier; I feel stagnant and frustrated with myself, not being where I think I 'should' be. Maybe it would be easier if I could be one of those kind of people that could just pump out fanart of popular stuff all the time, and jump on every single popular trend and bandwagon. But I just am Not built for it. I don't have the spoons, and when I do have time, I want to draw. My own silly stuff.

It's a weird, quarter life crisis feeling; like if my art and writing aren't good enough to do as a job, but they're all I want to do- well, what am I supposed to do? What now? being almost 30 and not being out of my parents house, not having a job I like or that is even a living wage (not even close!) it just. Makes me Depressed, so I want tend to retreat into things I liked when I was younger. A big reason I love tmm and have the tokyo miracle comic is just. Nostalgia. It reminds me of when I was younger and to an extent, happier, so I don't want to let go of it. The same goes for bnha, yugioh, and other stuff I like... but I do wonder, at what point is it causing harm? Should I be doing something original and not a fan comic? Would that make me happy? Would hosting it on a comic site get more feedback vs the more control I have on my own site be worth it? Would something original get more feedback? I regretted dropping the comic the first two times; I could've had it done by now. But this anxiety I've talked about before- the anxiety of running out of time or taking too long on any given project, is that hurting me, mentally? How do I stop being mad at the lack of attention when I know just about all of my friends are also struggling with either personal stuff, lack of time, or just the world being on fire? Because blaming people isn't fair but it's hard to control my feelings; all I can do is control how I act on them. I still don't know where I'm going with this. I'm uninsured right now, but if I'm ever able to go back to therapy, it's stuff I'd like to bring up. Maybe it's too abstract to have one right answer, I'm not sure. It's just something I've been mentally Chewing on. 

But yeah. shoutout to people who Have Been Nice to Me. Is the gist of this. If I ghost, I am just trying to keep myself afloat for a bit. I've been sleeping a lot and not getting a lot done in terms of art. But. Probably Not Dead. Trying not to be, which should count for something. Like, even if I'm not where I want to be in life, at least I'm alive longer than I thought I'd be?? Based. <3 Something else I wanna do is music features? Like What I'm listening to... Maybe I'll add a few new sections to the site soon, give myself a fun project to distract myself. :3